The stinging in your chest, the humming noise in your left ear, the tears pouring down unheeded. Your mind refuses to acknowledge the pain. Your reason has left; it watches from afar this desperate body, twitching, shaking and falling apart… It laughs even, at the lack of control, the pitiful madness that has finally broken through the concrete skin.
She was staring at her red, swollen finger, hot water running down the plate in her hands. She couldn’t move. Tears wanted to form but she wouldn’t let them. Crying was accepting; and she still hoped.
He saw the steam rising and run to the sink, pulled her burning hands away, bewildered.
‘What the fuck is wrong with you, J?’
She shook her head, evasive, and walked away. Stalled at the door, not knowing where to go, what to do with herself; the words in her head like a broken disk ‘I can’t bear it! I can’t bear it! I can’t bear it!
She squeezed her hands, welcoming the distraction of the throbbing pain. Why was the flesh so easy to endure?
When the blood stops my teeth scream, and I bite off the scabs before they form. The wounds bloom welcoming, and hell gleams from beneath the rotten skin.
They never heal.
I’m an addict, desperately searching for torture..
You’re my old high and, fuck, how it hurts… I laugh like a mad woman as my limbs twist.. crushing my bones against these bare walls.. skin burning, eyes bleeding.. willingly giving myself to the torment..
Stay.. be my demon. Rip out my ribs and make yourself home…