Did you ever wonder why I had to be drunk
you touched me, I shrunk.
You knew, so you’d pour me a glass,
perhaps you thought I was shy
enough to want to black out
before we fuck
You pull me into this embrace and whisper
‘Relax, hug me..’
And I wrap my arms around your back
But they’re made of lead and they hang
I try to breathe but the air
is thick in my lungs like molasses.
So I stand there, airless and stiff in your enormous arms.
I swallow the lump in my throat, full of hatred;
and smile, my teeth so faintly grinding
and think of my treasure.
Oh, how I love him and how I wish
that he hadn’t been born at all,
because the pain that I swallow and hold
on the end of my fingers,
it falls on his hair and his fragile skin,
it sets on his long dark lashes when his eyes grow big
and he wonders why
Mummy is sad again
Mummy is angry again.
Why she never cries…..