Held breath

He prays for me.

And I dream of resting my head on his chest.. trembling fingers burried in my hair, growing still.

Of silencing fearful words with a kiss, softly; a held breath, the shadow of a smile touching his lips.

He prays for me..

And I wonder how the skin smells on the back of his neck. And would a shiver travel down his spine if my lips touched it. Would his eyes close? A held breath..

He prays for me..

To a God that denies us this embrace; that makes him estinguish this blazing fire and leaves the taste of hot ash on my tongue. My nails dig into my palms, my teeth bite hard into my lips and I let go.. a held breath.

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Ordinary

I hope that you are content, and thoughts of me don’t make you tremble in your sleep. That you don’t wake at midnight and sigh when she doesn’t sit up watching you like I did. I hope you don’t weep when you don’t drown in her eyes like you did in mine.

I hope she doesn’t trouble you with dreams and fantasies, that she’s grounded and rational like I was not.. that her love is peaceful and secure, not wild and fiery like mine was.

I hope that she doesn’t tighten her fingers around your throat when you fuck, that her lips don’t burn through your flesh when she calls your name.

You chose ordinary, my love. So I pray our love born in hell doesn’t make you ache to return.

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