I gave you all..

That night you were staring at me, remember? When I said I don’t care if you are somebody else’s, I am yours. You laughed and thought I was crazy. You always thought I was crazy, maybe that’s why you never stopped being so selfish, so blind.

You used to say I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve all the love you’re giving me. I still don’t know what you meant but  I used to believe. And even though I gave it all to you, you kept looking for more even when there was nothing left but an empty shell. My everything was not enough, you wanted more and I was useless.

Now I laugh like a mad woman when I think about you. You had so little to give and you gave me nothing, yet never stopped asking for more.

I became dark and small and tired of my nothingness, when you grew strong and proud with all that I’d given you. And you kept asking, demanding, until I had nothing left but darkness.

And one day I pulled back pieces of myself and threw them into my empty shell. And left. And now I fight to arrange the random bits into a human form, and I struggle to make myself look like a living being again.

And yet I know you’ll come back and take it all apart once more, and I’ll stand and watch like I always do; smiling, laughing and enjoying the show by your side.

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